Though I was granted considerable liberty during the months of April,
May, and June, 1903, not until July did I enjoy a so-called unlimited
parole which enabled me to walk about the neighboring city unattended.
My privileges were granted so gradually that these first tastes of
regained freedom, though delightful, were not so thrilling as one might
imagine. I took everything as a matter of course, and, except when I
deliberately analyzed my feelings, was scarcely conscious of my former
deprivations.
This power to forget the past--or recall it only at will--has
contributed much to my happiness. Some of those who have suffered
experiences such as mine are prone to brood upon them, and I cannot but
attribute my happy immunity from unpleasant memories to the fact that I
have viewed my own case much as a physician might view that of a
patient. My past is a thing apart. I can examine this or that phase of
it in the clarifying and comforting light of reason, under a memory
rendered somewhat microscopic.
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